Running on Rocks

Seems like all you have to do is make a plan for all the forces of nature to come against it. Prepare yourself. This may be a whiney post if I don't get it together.

Work is going fine. Parenting is not. I stayed up too late working one night, and it was as if I had not eaten in two days. The next day I was weak, dizzy, and barely functioning. There is a hard line in the dirt about how much I need to eat and sleep in order to function and I pushed it too far.

Note to self: I am not a machine.

Then, along with sleep deprivation (which has become something like a hard drug in my life--I am a different person when sleep deprived and around 90% more likely to do things which I am deeply ashamed of later, like being nasty to my kids), hormones kicked in and I was a weepy mess for around 24 hours.

Note to self: I am really, really not a machine.

The end result this week was that I didn't work as much as I planned, although it looks like it will turn out okay if I get a job done on Monday that I plan to do. I have been struggling with whether or not to work on Saturdays. I decided I will not work on Saturdays (or Sundays) and I will trust God to make it okay, because He knows I need a mental health holiday every five days. I just really do. Trusting Him on this is harder than when I didn't have a clear goal of exactly how much I wanted to save every month. The more burned out I am with work, the harder it is to believe that I will actually come up with the amount I want by August. But "nothing is impossible for God." Amen.

A New Purpose--Introduction

Hi! Welcome and thank you for reading. The purpose of this blog is to document a redemption story and a missionary journey. I am an American mother of two small children (and a puppy) and my goal is to be a missionary in Chiapas, Mexico, where I currently live. I want to reach people through an English as a Foreign Language ministry. This is a long-term goal because God has been showing me that I need to square away a few loose ends before I can dedicate myself to ministry. The plan is:

1. Work to save money to get my childrens' US citizenship papers. Goal: by August 2014

2. Resolve my tax issues and pay all debts. Goal: by March 2015

3. Establish habits of Bible reading and prayer before starting a ministry. Goal: Now to March 2015

4. Seek God's guidance in starting a ministry. Goal: Spring 2015

Getting to the point where I am willing to wait for an entire year has been a huge journey for me. I am someone who likes to get started as soon as the idea occurs to me. However, I can already see that God has different plans for me. I have:

• Enthusiasm
• Energy
• Good intentions

but I need:

• Long-term vision
• Patience
• Perseverance

I don't plan to blog on a regular or frequent basis as I simplify my life to make these dreams come true, but I do want to write things down publicly just for accountability. So if you are reading this--thank you :)  Peace in Christ

--"Makena"