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Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.--Romans 5:1-2

Friday, May 30, 2014

Running on Rocks

Seems like all you have to do is make a plan for all the forces of nature to come against it. Prepare yourself. This may be a whiney post if I don't get it together.

Work is going fine. Parenting is not. I stayed up too late working one night, and it was as if I had not eaten in two days. The next day I was weak, dizzy, and barely functioning. There is a hard line in the dirt about how much I need to eat and sleep in order to function and I pushed it too far.

Note to self: I am not a machine.

Then, along with sleep deprivation (which has become something like a hard drug in my life--I am a different person when sleep deprived and around 90% more likely to do things which I am deeply ashamed of later, like being nasty to my kids), hormones kicked in and I was a weepy mess for around 24 hours.

Note to self: I am really, really not a machine.

The end result this week was that I didn't work as much as I planned, although it looks like it will turn out okay if I get a job done on Monday that I plan to do. I have been struggling with whether or not to work on Saturdays. I decided I will not work on Saturdays (or Sundays) and I will trust God to make it okay, because He knows I need a mental health holiday every five days. I just really do. Trusting Him on this is harder than when I didn't have a clear goal of exactly how much I wanted to save every month. The more burned out I am with work, the harder it is to believe that I will actually come up with the amount I want by August. But "nothing is impossible for God." Amen.


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